I Loathe
by obsessive-elphaba
Summary: Sakura loathes the day Sasuke came back. A little NaruSaku fluff. Rated T just to be safe, Happy Memorial Day!


Random: My cat makes horse sounds when he purrs. The clacking of hoofs and snorting. :)

* * *

I loathe the day Sasuke came back. I loathe the day he got out of the hospital. I loathe the day he was reassigned to Team Seven. And, I loathe saying it, I loathe him for replacing Sai. "Do we have to work with _him_?" I point my finger right at the Uchiha backstabber. I didn't care if he heard. "I don't want to work with him! I'd rather have Sai." I fumed.

Lady Tsunade only sighed. She always sighed when she didn't want to give me an answer. But I wanted an answer. "Assign him… to Squad 13!" I smiled.

"But, Sakura-chan, isn't that the new genin squad-"

I cut the ramen-loving idiot off with a quick glance. He shoves his hands in his pockets. "I can't believe you even let him be a shinobi again. After what he did to us?" I turned to him accusingly. As usual his face revealed no emotional conflict on the matter.

"Sakura, you are mature enough to not let feelings get in the way of your missions." Tsunade finally snapped.

No I wasn't. And if I think right, Naruto isn't either. He'll start a fight with anybody but me. And I learn to cheer him on. "Yes, Tsunade-sama…" I sigh, and let my hands fall on the desk.

"So what is this mission exactly?" Hearing his voice made my grip tighten, the wood just… fell off… into my hands…

"The Akatsuki." She said. Naruto and I already understood. Sasuke of course, needed more explanation. "They've captured all the nine tailed demons excluding…" She nodded to Naruto, who grew a bit antsy in his seat.

"Are we gonna kill them or what?" He asks. His voice deep and slow and serious. It makes me feel a bit disappointed. He's so mature now. Sure, he still jokes around with his friends… but he takes things seriously now. It's sad.

"Kidnap the leader and bring him back for questioning." Tsunade replies.

"Pein…" He mumbles. I know he wants to disobey. I give him a reassuring look.

"What-" The creep begins.

"We have what we need. Let's go." I say and clap my hands together. If the bastard should know anything about me, it is when I decide something my mind doesn't change easily.

* * *

I walk in front, talking with Naruto, as _he _walks five steps behind. I laugh and hit and joke and almost forget he's there. It feels great; then he has to interject. "Do you know where we're going?"

"Sasuke…" I halt mid-step. "Do you know what happened in this village, to us, your _friends _when you were gone?" I pause. He says nothing. "I _know _where I'm going." I start walking again.

I try to start the conversation I was having with Naruto again. "As I was saying…" My voice trails off. The face I see is far from what I saw when he laughs or smiles. It's sad, calm, and confused.

"Sakura-chan…" he starts. I bite my lip, preparing for something terrible. "I'm sorry I brought Sasuke back."

"What do you mean? Why are you sorry?" I grab his hand in a comforting way. "You have no reason to be apologizing." I look away, loathing showing him my face. My selfish, idiotic, heartbroken face. "I'm sorry…" I finally am able to shift my eyes to his face. "I made you make that stupid promise. If I knew how worthless it would be, it would've never happened. I wouldn't have let you go through all that suffering. I wouldn't let myself be blinded." My eyes begin to water and I walk a bit faster, staying five paces ahead of him.

I can feel that worried look on the back of my head. Hoping I would turn around and meet it. And I'm angry because I was so stupid. How could I have done the worst? That promise… My heart was just broken, I knew how it felt. How could I have sat there and let someone go through that pain?

"You're wrong you know…" Suddenly his breath is felt on my neck. I loathe when he does this. I can't do anything except listen. I respond eventually because rebellion is useless. "You have no reason to be sorry. You didn't make me make a promise. You didn't know it would end terribly-"

"Terribly?" I laugh softly. "This isn't nearly as terrible as what I've dreamt could've happened." And suddenly my laughter stops at the remembering. "I don't want to talk about it." I quickly add, knowing he would ask. I glance back at the two young men behind me. I loathe this mission. I should've told Tsunade-sama I was unfit for this. Does it really hurt so much to break someone's heart again? Because he doesn't think I trust him with my feelings. No matter what happens. I can hear his footsteps falling back. Other footsteps are making their way towards me. The S.O.B. starts walking beside me.

"You love him." He cracks a smile.

"Shut up, Sasuke." I say out of pure loathing to talk to him, not fear of embarrassment.

"No. Admit it. I know it's true." He says, smirking in that you-won't-faze-me way.

"If I say I love him, will you leave me alone?" I smile brightly.

"No. But it'll get something off your chest." His smile was faded, and he was serious. "Come on, look at him. You know you want it. You want to hug him, hold him, love him," he paused, "rape him."

I fumed. "Do you want to die today?"

"That's not very ladylike." He shook his head.

"Well, I've never been very ladylike have I?" I smiled and gave him a hard punch in the face. I've never been afraid of blood and guts. I've punched so many people, healed so many more. It's easy. I've broken bones and not even cared about the bacteria on my hands.

But I made one mistake. I had looked back. I was forced to lock eyes with his sad face. I couldn't make myself look away, though I didn't want to see him like this. My arm fell to my side and I kept walking.

Sure, this silent treatment will work for a while. Eventually I'll have to talk to him. That or pour my heart out to Sasuke, and that would _never _happen. Again. I had learned my lesson. "Dude!" Sasuke shouted at me. His voice changed because of his recent encounter with my fist.

I turn around and smile sweetly. "Yes?" I say in the most innocent voice. But it wasn't perfect. Sasuke had taken my innocence, not physically, but I felt more… aware of things. As if, afraid that, my life could end at any moment. Or someone I love could be lost. I could still say I was innocent, and Ino could still tease me, and I love to pretend. But it's not the same. I'm still a victim. I've seen it all, and have the panic of falling if I become dependent.

"What the fuck was that about?" He screams.

"I've grown up, Sasuke. I'm not that silly little girl with a crush that I used to be, and I have no desire for you or your perverse jokes." I narrow my eyes, glaring right at him. I used to never do that. I used to always glare at Naruto. Fate changes things. I planned to marry Sasuke, and never even talk to Naruto after the chunin exams. We'd have three kids and live happily ever after. Look how my fairy tale turned out.

"But why'd you punch me? I was stating a fact. No matter how non-perv you are, you can't deny it. I know your feelings." Sasuke said with confidence.

"Oh yeah? How'd you do that?" I said with mocking curiosity.

"You're not the only one that got stronger. I came up with a genjutsu." He narrowed his eyes in that disgusted way I remember so well.

"Oh really, now?" I roll my eyes.

"You have emotional meltdowns on regular basis. I've been studying you for the past month. For a while you've felt angry then sorry about your fight with Ino, relieved when you made up, hopeful when you received mysterious flowers and chocolate on your birthday. But two things haven't changed. One – you hate me. Two – what do you know… is that – love? Oh my god, it is! How silly of me for falling in love with another teammate despite how well that went last time!" He was right, but I wouldn't admit it.

"Shut up." My face was boiled red… hopefully they thought I was angry.

"Eh, save it. Just tell him. It won't mess anything up. It won't completely crush you if he says no, you know why? Because he won't say no." Was Sasuke encouraging me? Helping me build confidence? I side glanced at Naruto. He was staring at the ground, completely blown out of our world in thought.

"You know what? You are absolutely right. I do loathe you. And Naruto is the best friend anyone could ever have, so yeah, I guess you can say I love him." I smile victoriously.

"So you don't like him?"

"What?" I crinkle my nose.

"Calling a guy your best friend is the ultimate form of rejection." (A/N: It's true ya'll! Don't do it) Sasuke shrugged. "If he knew, he'd be really upset." I don't even want to know if he's right. "I'm serious. That's a turn off. If you say you're best friends, he thinks, oh I'm just another one of her girl friends. He'll think the relationship couldn't go any farther than that of you and Ino. So, if you really don't ever in your whole life want a relationship with him, Naruto Uzumaki, I'll tell him what you think."

"Shut up." I sigh. "Maybe I do like him a little bit, but it's nothing but a crush right now." I snapped in the intimidating better-keep-your-yap-shut way.

He smiles in the way that says I-know-you-better-than-that. I loathe saying it, but he still knows me just as well as Hinata or Chouji. They aren't my best friends, but they know me well enough to understand how my mind works. He knows that when I find someone worth having feelings for, it's serious, or just immature. I've grown up too much to be immature about my feelings. I've known better. I've always known Naruto had that crush on me when we were little, but I was so busy avoiding him like my mom instructed and focused on impressing Sasuke. And I'll openly admit to my devotion to the blond idiot, but not to Sasuke. "I will not sit here and talk to Mr. Heartless about my feelings." I snap. "When you decide to get feelings, I might just do so."

He laughed. "I have feelings. I love someone, too." He says this low, hoping I won't hear.

"Oh? How's about we figure out who this person is? Is it unrequited?"

"Sadly, no…" Sadly? He seems to read my mind. "We have to meet in secret because her father hates me for betraying the village."

"Can't say I blame him; go on."

"And I want her so badly, I really do… but…" He looks away, anger shows by his body signs, but his eyes are sad. "They're setting her up to marry someone else."

For a split second I feel sorry for him. "No relationship is perfect. Just talk to Hinata's dad and-"

"Whoa! What makes you think it's Hinata?"

"Because you openly loathe Ten-Ten, and Ino's dad doesn't care what she does." I roll my eyes. "And god knows it isn't me." His face turns a light pink and I giggle.

"Go on now. You have to tell Naruto how you feel." He fires back.

"Not now." I hiss. "He's thinking. If you interrupt Naruto thinking, the whole mission fails. I know it's superstitious, but every time we've done so, boom." He raises an eyebrow. "But you wouldn't know. You aren't familiar with the Naruto that actually thinks." I smile in that way I learned to do with Sai. I loathe missing him so much, my clueless, hilarious, annoying brother.

"So… when?" He mutters.

"At camp tonight." I set the date in my mental calendar. Will I be prepared?

"By the way, there are only two sleeping bags, and I don't share." He gives me a perverse smirk.

"Then you can sleep on the ground." I smile back.

* * *

I don't know if I'm ready. I take an especially long time eating my dinner. "Do it now." Sasuke whispers between bites. I knew I should do it soon or else the little confidence I have will be gone. Naruto is telling us a funny story about something he did around the village last weekend. His only immature actions – pranks. We smile and laugh along.

"Well, that was some good ramen." Naruto claps his hands together.

"You always say that about ramen." I roll my eyes.

"So true, so true. I'll see you guys later; I'm feeling really tired." His smile is false. He's learned to paste them on his face, and I loathe the trick so much because I am not blind enough to let it blend in.

He walks into the tent. Sasuke looks at me. I know now's the right time, and Sasuke is only giving me a second voice. I take a deep breath, stand, and confidently tip-toe to the tent. I listen to see if he talks to himself… but there is only silence. I peek my head through the entrance and soon I'm inside. He's perfectly normal, pacing around, but his shirt is off. I was not expecting that… dare I say sweet? surprise. I bite my lip to prevent any words from escaping my ill-minded tongue. Then he finally looks up. He gives me a small smile, silently asking me to just leave him alone while he figures things out. "Naruto…" My voice comes out steady, despite my heart's heavy beating. "What were you thinking about earlier today?" He sits on his cot. I feel compelled to follow.

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. If it concerns you, it concerns me." I grasp his hand in mine.

"Sakura-chan, please, I don't want to talk about." He sighs; the deepness in his voice indicates his sadder nature.

"I do want to talk about. We need to discuss this." I say gently.

"How come that works for you?" He asks with a reluctant smile forming on his whiskered face.

I chuckle a small, sad laugh. "Please, Naruto… I want to help." I look him straight in the eye. "You can't imagine what it would be like for me if you made a decision that could be deadly, and I wouldn't even know about it until it was too late." I can feel the tears forming, but I won't look away.

"Sakura-chan…" He strokes my back comfortingly. "Why… do you love Sasuke?" He asks.

"I don't." I scowl. And I loathe that he was so blind that I broke his heart again. That's three times now.

"But-"

"I thought I did, but if anything, he's Sai-ass before we got to know him." He chuckles a tired laugh. "But I've completely moved on." I squeeze his hand tighter, hoping he'd get the hint.

He smiles at me. "Good because you're far too good for him." I sigh; he's such a baka.

"You're far too good for me." I say softly.

"What?" He asks.

"Naruto-kun…" I whisper, my eyes locking his before continue. "I love you… but," I pause, "it's so much more than those three words. They have great meaning… but they simply don't live up to my expectations." I sigh. Of course they won't; they're words. Though, he doesn't seem to mind my foolishness.

"You… love me?" I smile. I want to say one of those cheesy lines from the movies, but it's unnecessary. "Me? Naruto Uzumaki? You aren't joking?" He's laughing a bit; did he never expect I'd fall for him?

"Yes, baka." I say, inching closer as he backs away. "I am deeply, unconditionally, insanely in love with Naruto Uzumaki. No matter how crazy it sounds." As we reach the wall of the tent, I slowly creep him to the floor, my fingers marching up his chest. "It feels pretty good to me." I say. Now I'm stuck in an awkward position. I should've planned this part better… now I loathe myself again.

His face is a fair pink. "Sakura-chan…" He whispers.

"Do it now." I whisper. His eyes go wide. Sure, he takes _that _hint. "You're gonna be my first, my last… everything." If he loved me and he was any of the pervert he used to be, he wouldn't be hesitating.

"Are you sure?" He replies, sitting up a bit. "Is this _really _what you want?" He whispers. I know what he's getting at. He wants me to wait until I'm ready – just in case – for a child.

And I have to think this over. I'm only eighteen. I close my eyes and roll off of him. "No." I whisper. He stares at me for a minute. Eventually he smiles. "But-" I have to find a way to show him how much I care.

He presses his lips on my forehead. My loathed humungous forehead. "I already know." I'm a bit confused with the notion. "You love me; I love you, and all that matters is this moment." My eyes are sparkling, I know they are. That hint of adoration coming from me that I haven't seen in a while. Never letting it explore the world until I was sure this was what I wanted. The mission… I think it was a set up. I think Sasuke planned this all along. There is no Village Hidden in the Dust.

* * *

If there is, it's not anymore! The End! A little sweetness for my fellow NaruSaku fans! Reviews are always fun! Love it or Flame it – review! I can't believe I wrote this at eleven o' clock! Yayz no curfew! Summer! Happy Memorial Day yall!

~fandango2girl


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